


Chicago Skyline and Forgotten Stars

by leavemetothewolves



Series: Peterick Drabbles [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco (Mentioned)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Fluffy, M/M, Mentions of Mental Illness, Soulmate AU, absolute trash?, angsty, how does one tag this idfk, mentions of selfharm, slightly christmas-y, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:17:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leavemetothewolves/pseuds/leavemetothewolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas got under his skin, every time. He tapped out carols on grocery shop shelves and counters and dining tables. He hated how he didn’t hate it, how he wished he could embrace the holiday cheer. But there was nobody to embrace it with.</p><p>Or, Christmas-y Soulmate AU because I'm trash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chicago Skyline and Forgotten Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Angst-y soulmate AU because I’m trash. Tell my mother I’m sorry.  
> Anywho, on an actual serious level (wow, me? Serious?) this fic has a bit of triggering material in it, so warnings for that. There are mentions of suicide in the first five paragraphs, and it’s actually a tad bitter almost, so yeah, just keep safe and don’t read if it doesn’t make you comfortable. There are also depressing thoughts/themes/actions on Pete’s part (I’m sorry, I do try not to weigh into his depressive streak too much because then everything I write about him is bitter and sad and yeah.) so just keep safe and know your limits and read fluffy peterick instead of this garbage!

Everyone’s forearm was different. Some had the map of their hometown, others had state lines, others had fucking countries, continents, even, illustrated on their arms. The only thing that was the same was the two soft, glowing lights, the size of pinpricks. One moved as you did, the other as your soulmate did. When soulmates found each other, the map disappeared, and the place where the soulmates had first touched, skin on skin, was branded, literally, with an x. 

Of course, it wasn’t a necessarily foolproof system. You always heard of the people that never had a soulmate, who never had a second dot on their arm, or of abuse; of the relationship not working out. You heard terrible stories of those who lost their soulmates, the ones who looked away for a moment, and when they looked back again, they were gone. 

There had been a kid in Pete’s class, Brendon, who’d lost his soulmate in freshman year. The history teacher had been droning on about something historic, and Pete had sort of lost himself in the leaves he could see just outside the small window in the corner. The whole class shot to attention at the loud, gasping sob that had come from the back of the room, and Pete had turned with them. 

Whenever he saw Brendon in the hallways after that, his gaze lingered on the shadows underneath his eyes and the empty stare. Brendon hadn’t made it through senior year. They’d found him in his bedroom, slashes through the map on his arm and blood pooling around his wrists. Pete was sort of happy for the guy, in a sick, twisted kind of a way. He wondered if that made him a terrible person. Their lives were basically designed to find the one they were supposed to love, and that had been ripped from him. How was he supposed to find purpose in anything but death? Love might be patient and kind, but it’s also cruel and cold, and once it’s taken from you, you never really go back. 

Pete’s map was the roads that made up Chicago and its suburbs. The dot moved around a bit, but never really anywhere drastic. Whenever Pete got a little too deep into his head, he liked to walk out into the night, turning corners he’d never gone around and just stare at his dot on the map, trying to find his way through the maze of streets. It was like the mazes on cheap colouring sheets that gum-snapping waitresses handed you in family restaurants, the one’s you’d try one way, and then scribble out the line and then try another. He’d never been any good at those either. He got lost, more often than not, and would call his parents to come pick him up. He stood shivering at payphones, huddling into his hoodie to keep warm. 

Once, on one of his little walks, he’d come so close, so damn close to seeing, touching, knowing his soulmate. He’d been staring intently at his arm, walking slowly, watching in almost a trance as the dots got closer and closer. He’d hit someone’s shoulder, accidently, glancing up quickly, registering a mess or orange blonde hair under a hat and the back of a baggy jacket, and muttering a quick ‘sorry’ before continuing walking. He looked back at his arm in dismay, watching now got a little farther apart, twirling on his heel, searching the dark around him for any sign of anyone, but he was alone. 

He wondered if his soulmate even wanted to see him. If they somehow instinctively knew he was a fuck-up with an even more fucked up head, who would only bring them pain and hurt and those were the thoughts his therapist told him to tune out so he closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing. In, out. And again. Again. He hit his head on a street lamp, opening his eyes and rubbing his head, looking around to see if anyone had seen him. Fucking shrinks. 

He was now out of high school, escaping like he always said he would, only making it to Chicago before the beat up Chevrolet he had christened his get away car had sputtered and died. He’d never left. 

He had turned twenty-six last month, celebrating his advancement on thirty with a single candle in a supermarket doughnut. That was a few months ago, and now Christmas had blown into Chicago and Pete couldn’t stand the slush and the ice and the cuddly soulmates and tinsel and lights in glowing windows. 

The Christmas carols mixed with the words inside his head and it turned every single phrase into nonsense. He tapped out carols on grocery shop shelves and counters and dining tables. Christmas got under his skin, every time. He hated how he didn’t hate it. How he wanted to like it; embrace it. But there was nobody to embrace it with, and that was the source of the sour set of his jaw and furrowed brows at jolly men in red suits standing on street corners and the ringing of bells over his head in supermarkets. 

He trudged down the sidewalk, fiddling with the collar on his jacket so it shielded the back of his neck from the wet snow, almost sleet, hitting him. He was just thinking that he had flat ironed his hair today for nothing, when he slipped wildly, his hand going out to catch his fall. He winced as his bare hand hit the icy, gravelly pavement. 

“Oh my god! Are you alright?” Pete blinked up into what he thought might be the bluest eyes he’d ever seen, framed by bleached lashes. The person offered their hand to him, and Pete reached up.

He gasped, yanking his hand back as a spark of energy ran through his hand and down his arm. /Shit that meant/…. He scrambled to his feet unaided and smiled slightly at the small figure in front of him. He was tiny, tinier than him at least, and that was saying something. He was also utterly adorable, orange blonde hair topped with a grey fedora, and neck swamped in a grey scarf. Two matching circles of pink perched on his cheekbones, stark against the paleness of his skin. He held a coffee in a hand encased in fingerless gloves.

“Hey,” the man said, holding out a hand and licking his lips. “My name’s Patrick.” Pete blinked at the hand in front of him, taking in the x in the middle of his palm. 

“My name’s Pete.” He said finally, reaching out to clasp the other’s hand. Patrick looked down at the ground for a moment, and then flicked his eyes back up to Pete’s face, red mouth settling into a content grin. 

“So, Pete,” he started, smiling slightly. “Since we have all the time in the world, how do you take your coffee?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Have a fantastic Christmas and an even more fantastic New Year! :)


End file.
